Hello! Welcome back. Oh how I’ve missed you. I had planned on completely overhauling the old, dusty Newsletter but I ended up getting sidetracked working towards a solution as how to keep the stores open for now and for the Future. More on that later. But I did manage to change the name! That’s something, right? What do you think? Clever? Stupid? (There’s a fine line between clever and stupid, someone once said)
We’ve received a pile of suggestions from you lovely folks, our amazing staff, my brain (hah, good luck, brain!) and many friends on how to keep Black Dog from succumbing to the dirge known as the internets. Damn you World Wide Web, damn you all to hell! I guess it’s not the fad that I predicted last year. We fielded quite a few swell ideas and some, well, terrible ones. They range from selling items such as; dog food, used video games, comics, records, cigarettes, e-cigarettes, candy cigarettes, sex toys (new or slightly used), iPhone accessories, dating advice, pole-dancing lessons, ninja apparel and weapons (Black Dog nun-chucks and throwing stars!), a fight club, tanning booths, a petting zoo and muscle for hire. Other ideas range from creating a subscribed Black Dog membership, donation button on the website, doing movie viewings and hosting Eyes Wide Shut type parties. We’re currently putting something together so stay tuned.
Fresh on the Shelves!
After – Cool sounding mind-melt of a movie finds a couple of survivors of a bus crash discovering that they are the only ones left alive in their small town. “What gives?” they ask. Or I imagine that they do because that’s what I’d say. Kinda sounds like a neat-o Twilight Zonish, Triangley horror dealy. Sign me up!
Eastbound and Down Season 4 – Not my cup of tea but for those of you who do enjoy this cup of tea, drink up!
Escape From Tomorrow – This film looks bananas! Some guy made a creepy, trippy freak-out of a movie inside Disneyland without the sinister Disney folks knowing about it! Dad takes his family to Disneyland to mask the fact he’s lost his job. He starts to lose his marbles there (no kidding) as haunting, surreal images attack his feeble mind. Cannot wait to see this!
Genius on Hold – Very interesting sounding doc about this dude, we’ll call him Walter because that’s his name, who invented a pile of things like call forwarding, speakerphone, touchtone dialling and other phone related stuff. But of course the greedy powers that be ripped him off so he ended up working for the mafia (mental note – video store fails, work for mafia).
Her – My pick for best film of the year so far (haven’t seen Godzilla yet). Spike Jones’ tale of romance and relationships in the near-future finds Joaquin Phoenix falling in love with his new fancy, sexy computer (voiced by fancy, sexy Scarlett Johansson). THIS IS YOUR FUTURE, PEOPLE! It’s funny, it’s sad, it’s really smart.You must watch this. Because I say so. Also on the Blu Ray
I, Frankenstein – From the best to the worst (I shouldn’t really say that as I haven’t seen it) finds Dr. Frankenstein’s (that’s Fronkenshtein! Young Frankenstein – remember?!) monster is loose in the present day and, for some reason, he looks like Aaron Eckhart. He holds the key to humankind’s survival, or some horse-shit like that, and has to fight demons, flying gargoyles, squid-cats, gorilla-caterpillars and young nubile princesses. (I made some of that up). Also on the Blu Ray and even 3-D Blu Ray!
Is the Man Who is Tall Happy? – Michel Gondry sits down with Noam Chomsky and his big brain to talk about a bunch of stuff, like why Jay-Z and Beyonce’s sister are fighting. Lots of cool animation to entertain your eyes while old Noam prattles on about himself and the state of the world. I imagine that Noam doesn’t have a lot of good things to say about the current state of affairs. Just a guess.
Orange is the New Black Season 1 – Pretty good show from, shudder, Netflix about a woman doing some time for some crime. There she meets all kinds of zany characters. From the creator of Weeds. About the only thing that Netflix does right is their original programming. Other than that, it’s an ugly barren wasteland of nonsense, poor quality and broken dreams.
Stalingrad – Yet another retelling (this one is actually Russian) of the famous battle where a handful of brave Russians fought off a horde of angry Gerry’s (Germans for those not down with the vernacular). On Blu Ray and 3-D Blu Ray!
That Awkward Moment – Rom-com finds a bunch (well three is a bunch, right?) friends who vow to stay single until as long as they can. Wow, what a novel concept. Zac Efron and his crunchy abs falls for Imogen Poots (is there a better name than Imogen Poots? Sounds kinda dirty for some reason) which screws up the plans of the best bros. Yawn. Also on the Blu Ray because, well, did I mention Zac and his crunchy abs?
In Your Face Next Week
3 Days to Kill
About Last Night
Call the Midwife Season 3
What We Like and What you Might Want to Watch
So there you have it, the new, pretty much same as the old, weekly Black Dog publication. I hope that you like it. We’re gonna try a few different things out in the following weeks, see what sticks. Have a fabulous week everyone. Hope to see you walk in the door soon.
Black Dog Video
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