So the wife and kid beat it out of town for a few days last week. How did I celebrate this unusual freedom? I watched movies. Lots of movies (9 in 5 days!). I even managed to make it to the theatre a couple of times. I have always loved going to the movies but every now and then I get a reality check on what a chore it can be. Case in point; I travelled to the far reaches of Richmond to catch Prometheus on the IMAX 3-D (great entertaining terrible film). The first sign of things to come was the $19.50 price tag. Twenty dollars to see a movie?! Whatever, I was there and really, was I going to not see it on principal? Get my ticket and sit down just as the film is starting. Perfect timing. I even have the entire row to myself with nobody in front of me. In fact I can’t even see another human being. Until…some weirdo comes in and sits one seat away from me. Why dude?! Fine, not a big deal really until about 15 minutes later he falls asleep and starts snoring. Fucker. So I move a few seats away. A short while after I feel something on my cheek. Turns out a small spider or fly or lizard made it’s way between my glasses and my face! How does this happen in the theatre?Not the best thing to have happen to you during a horror film. Anyways, suffice to say, it wasn’t the best movie going experience I’ve had. I also got bit on the wrist by something while I was there (probably said lizard). Oh and they left the light on in the projection booth which inflicted a glare onto the screen. Bah. Will I ever be back to the movies? You bet.
New Releases for Tuesday June 26th
The Artist – Yes, finally the much ballyhooed Oscar winner finally hits the shelves. I haven’t brought myself to check this out yet and I’m not entirely sure I even want to see it. I have a feeling that it’s exactly what I think it is and that’s enough for me to not watch it. Also I’m always disappointed with whatever flick wins the best picture Oscar and I just feel that this will be no different. I can’t even remember the last winner that I liked. That said, a lot of folks loved this black and white silent thing so don’t just take my opinion, if you could call it that. Also on the Blu Ray.
Damages Season 4 – Love this show. Glenn close is so perfect as the icy, nasty, creepy lawyer and there’s always a great supporting cast to help things along. Although I think that Rose Byrne really needs to eat a hamburger or two.
Gone – The lovely, big-eyed Amanda Seyfried stars as a woman who was abducted by a psycho and escapes her captor only to have him return and take her sister. Maybe. Of course no-one believes her for some reason. Haven’t heard a lot of good things about this but you may like it. Also on the Blu Ray.
Michael – Heavy German number about a freak who keeps a 10 year-old boy in his basement. I keep a bunch of beer I just made in my basement. I prefer beer. I imagine that this number is light on laughs and heavy on Michael Haneke inspired unpleasantness. Sounds intriguing, no?
Mirror Mirror – One of two Snow White flicks to come out this year. Julia Roberts stars in this one as the evil queen. Directed by the guy who made Immortals, The Cell and The Fall so it will at least look real nice. Also on the Blu Ray.
The Sound of Noise – I really like the sound of this Swedish musical terrorist film! A cop who hates music has to track down a group of guerilla percussionists whose anarchic public performances are terrorizing the city. If they were a roving pack of hand drummers I would be behind him all the way.
A Thousand Words – Oh Eddie Murphy, why do you even try anymore? All you turn out is crap. Do you enjoy shitting in our eyeballs year after year, film after film? Maybe you could team up with Adam Sandler and produce something truly epic. This may be one of his more idiotic premises – Eddie Murphy finds an unusual tree in his yard after an encounter with a spiritual guru. After somehow discovering that with each word he speaks a leaf drops off of the tree, Eddie Murphy thinks that if he doesn’t speak anymore he’ll be able to stay alive along with this magical tree. Hilarity, I presume, ensues.
21 Jump St. – For what it is, this flick ain’t half bad. Some older, lame cops go back to high school to infiltrate some drug ring. There’s even a funny cameo by you-know-who near the end. It’s pretty slick, fast paced and I actually laughed a number of times. Not bad for a Hollywood action comedy these days. Also on the Blu Ray. Red Band trailer –
Wrath of the Titans – Perseus goes undercover at a high school to infiltrate a drug ring and…wait, that’s not it. In this Oscar winning black and white silent film, Perseus must endure the transition from silent to talkies…wait that’s not it. Perseus keeps a 10 year-old boy in his father’s (Zeus) basement..wait. I don’t really know or care what this is about but I bet there’s lots of monsters and special effects and guys jumping around in short skirts. Enjoy! Also on the Blu Ray.
Coming Next Week
Joe and Belle
Some Guy Who Kills People
God Bless America
Jesus Henry Christ
Recently Viewed and Recommended
Woman in Black
Louie Season 2
Jeff, Who Lives at Home
We Need to Talk About Kevin
Reykjavik to Rotterdam
In keeping with my thoughts about going to the movies, here’s how our friend, The Oatmeal, thinks movie theatres should be laid out….http://theoatmeal.com/comics/movie_theater_layout
Have a great week ya’ll. It’s summer so get outside, enjoy the clouds and sporadic sun, drink some wine, watch some films. You know what to do.
Black Dog Video