It’s Valentine’s day if you needed reminding. You may have noticed the onslaught of advertising, articles in print, on the TV and on the interwebs (hell, there’s even a Valentine’s Day cartoon on the telly as I write this!). There’s a lot of money to be made today. Are you spending appropriately? I’m really not as cynical as I sound, it’s just that Valentine’s Day is one of those manufactured type holidays like Christmas or Easter or Arbour Day, that all vie for your hard earned bucks and that I just can’t get behind. I’m not going out to dinner, buying some diamonds or a car or wearing sexy underwear (well no more sexy than usual) today. For those of you that are, enjoy and I hope it works out for you. After all isn’t the point of Valentine’s Day is to get laid? I feel bad for those of you who are single only for the fact that Valentine’s Day works hard to exclude you. I say screw ’em, go ahead and treat yourself. If ya know what I mean (wink wink). Anyways, sprinkled like so much erotic pixie dust on the fetid blanket of love throughout today’s newsletter are some things that you probably shouldn’t do if you want to bed the object of your affections.
Oh and the big blow-out DVD and Blu Ray sale continues at both stores today. Just added a fresh crop of films to the Cambie pile yesterday – mostly actiony type flicks and will be throwing in a pile of films tomorrow – I think foreign films are the order of the day – at Commercial Drive.
Thinking of a special gift for that special someone. Here’s some special gifts that you really shouldn’t be giving anyone… http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/13/valentines-day gifts-photos_n_1266626.html#s679380&title=Candy_Underwear
New Releases for Tuesday February 14th
3 – From Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run) comes this drama about a couple who start having an affair with the same fella. Might a frighteningly set of awkward circumstances arise from this arrangement? Hmmm….
Assaut (Assault) – French thriller about a true life hijacking of a plane (is there any other kind of hijacking?) by some Algerian Islamic group. Think United 93 or Airplane. Your choice.
The Big Picture – Intense French thriller about a guy who kills his wife’s lover and then assumes the dead guy’s identity. I wonder how hard it would be to assume someone’s identity? Who’s would I assume? George Clooney? No, I think that it would have to be someone less famous. Character actor Charles Durning? I should give this some thought.
The Dead – Zombie flick set in Africa finds the survivor of a plane crash fleeing the undead. He teams up with another dude and together they fight for survival in the lovely African wilderness. Heard some good things about this one. I do enjoy a good zombie flick I must say. Brains….Also on the Blu Ray.
Elite Squad – The Enemy Within – Amazing sequel to the well received Brazilian flick Elite Squad from a couple of years back. This one deals with prison riots, corrupt politicians (are there really any other kinds?), and paramilitary groups. I was hoping to check out this number on the weekend but failed miserably. Also on the Blu Ray
The Future is Now! – Waking Life type flick follows “Man of Today” on his quest to find the “Woman of Tomorrow”. Maybe they’ll have the “Baby of Yesterday”. Along the way he meets a myriad of strange interesting characters. Hmmm. Not too sure what to make of this. Might be a good intellectual exercise or it might be a bunch of pretentious twaddle. Only one way to find out I suppose. Is the future really now? Or is that the past already? How about now?! Now?
How to Die in Oregon – What sounds like a pretentious indie gangster hipster beardo flick is actually a documentary on the right to assisted suicide in the state of Oregon. Looking for something for Valentine’s Day were you? Look no further.
The Mill and the Cross – Rutger Hauer stars as painter Pieter Bruegel and this weird but cool looking film that steps inside the famous painting and follows some of the characters found there. Hobo with a paint brush. Also on the Blu Ray.
Nude Nuns with Big Guns – Best title (in name anyways) of the year so far. Do I really need to go into detail? OK I will. Sister Sarah is abused, degraded and drugged to the point of death by the evil clergy for some reason. God tells her to take revenge so she does. What did you expect, Driving Miss Daisy? Some plot keywords found on the IMDB include; No Panties, Sapphism, Nunsploitation, Two Women In A Bath Tub, God’s Will, Shot In The Penis, Evil Priest, Drum Magazine, Redistribution Of Sex, Severed Penis, Shot In The Forehead, Lesbian Nun, and Pubic Hair. Happy Valentine’s Day. Also on the Blu Ray (Cambie Store only).
The Rum Diary – Hard act to follow after that last title. Johnny Depp stars as journalist Paul Kemp who takes on a freelance job in Puerto Rico for a local newspaper during the 1950s. Much drinking and hedonism and drinking occur. Directed by Brice Robinson (Withnail and I) and written by Hunter S. Thompson (before he died I think). Also on the Blu Ray.
Take Shelter – Big-headed Michael Shannon (like really, have you seen the size of his head? I think it has it’s own area code) stars as a big-headed man who may or may not be losing his mind. Lots of cool imagery, intense scenes and outstanding acting elevate this “disease of the week” flick into something pretty cool and almost awesome. There will be interesting conversations/debates about what happens at the end. Want me to tell the ending? Well it involves UFO’s, Nazis and women’s undergarments. I’ll just leave it at that.
A few older titles hitting the shelves this week
Fascination – http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/53475/fascination/
Lips of Blood – http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/53473/lips-of-blood/
The Iron Rose – http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/53466/iron-rose-the/
Dressed to Kill – Blu Ray – http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/50810/dressed-to-kill/
Maybe you were thinking of getting a special photograph or two of you and your lover for this special day? This may change your mind…http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2012/02/13/afp-valentines-slideshow/
Coming Next Week
Weeds Season 7
Fireflies on the Garden
Nurse Jackie Season 3
Fades Season 1
Cafe de Flore
Puss in Boots
Martha Marcy May Marlene
Underbelly Season 1
Recently Viewed and Recommended
Ides of March
Paranormal Activity 3
Harold and Kumar: A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas
Robot Chicken Star Wars V3
Boardwalk Empire Season 1
If you’re looking for a sweet recommendation for a nice romantic flick for the evening, don’t look here as it’s not really my realm but I can lead you away from stuff you definitely should NOT watch. Here’s a movie site appropriately titled Ten Terrible Date Movies. I can think of a few to add to the list – I Spit on Your Grave, MS 45, Death Wish, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Nekromantik…Any you might want to add? http://movies.ign.com/articles/121/1218320p1.html
Anyways, that’s it for this very special Valentine’s edition of the newsletter. I hope that you enjoyed it and will be enjoying some quality films this week. Stay healthy, stay sexy.